First day of school

A mix of fear and joy for Year One pupils

- http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/12/30/nation/10177853&sec=nation

Indulged in nostalgia while reading the article~

I still remembered the very first day when i went to standard one, it was an afternoon class.

I had no idea what was going on, as kindergarten was quite relaxed for me.

Daddy brought me to school. 

He stood outside the window, together with all other parents. 

It was glass window, half opened so that the parents could see what their children were doing and how they were doing. 

My form teacher was Ms. Tan, Chinese, pretty, strict. 

The very first thing i was taught, was how to stand, bow, and sit upon the teacher entering class. 

I was very very confused. My Chinese was a headache back then. The words qi li, xing li, chen lao shi wu an sounds alien to me. 

I fumbled and stumbled like a kid below 7.

Yet, managed to get it straight ^^

First class was nothing much but writing on names on the black board, and to my horror, in Chinese. 

Cant really recall how i escaped/ pull through. 

But recess was pretty soon, and daddy was outside waiting to bring me to the canteen. 

I was a bit afraid. The school was big. Several twists and turns before reaching the canteen, and the canteen was big! Even the black-colored dustbins were big! Back then in kindergarten, food was served in classroom, and there was no cafeteria, and the waste paper baskets, made of plastics with checkered shapes, were colorful, and medium-sized. 

Everything just gave you a looming feeling in primary school. Suddenly you feel like midget in giant's world.

Daddy was there. 

Daddy didn't earn much. Luckily things were quite cheap back then.

We spent 30sen on laksa, and another 20sen for apollo. 

I love it, and I love daddy. 

Apollo was one of my earliest memories in school- long biscuits with chocolate inside. 

Since then daddy gave me 50sen for pocket money per day. 

School finished, and daddy was still standing outside. I told him don't go, and he stayed. For years I will remember, that no matter what happened to my daddy, I will stay. For the sake of his child, and love~

Daddy sent me back home, where grandpa and grandma started to ask how was school and thing. 

I answered with big gobble of dinner. 

First day of school, real school, formal education- it was with daddy, apollo, 30 sen laksa, kindergarten friends, xinjue and yuensiong. 

Nostalgic~ and, I miss daddy, and the 30 sen laksa~ <3

*cited from http://babygirl-commoner.blogspot.com/2008/08/apollo-wafer-biscuit.html *

明天最后一张paper了。
现在有点解high.
昨晚该睡觉的，可是一直在想着星期六日的校园开放日，自己有题材得present
然后一直策划。
若说自己有ocpd，也不足为奇了。
然后的然后，
是跟同学们去唱歌，
朋友姐姐的婚礼，
圣诞礼物，
朋友的生日礼物，
表妹的生日礼物，
买材料...
考试前后的风景，
一个字：
满^^
饱满，丰满，满足^^ <3

Love-Connection-Sacrifice

Once passed by the CD shop while lingering in the mall with friends. on air was "rising of the planets of apes"

Heard that the review for it was quite motivating.
A look at certain part- yes definitely. despite apes being apes, they are spiced with human's emotions.
Still remember how a king kong flew through a bridge directly to a helicopter, whereby the pilot was trying to shot the leader of the revolting group. The king kong died of protecting the leader.

I cried.
Recalled asking my friend, would you sacrifice for another being?

And now, was wondering, whom have I sacrificed for after living for 22 years?
The same friend, who was also fascinated with Matrix, told me, love is a connection that you are willing to sacrifice anything for the person you love.
Connection. Sacrifice.
Two big words there.

After reading the news on next year's "apocalypse", neural firings were fierce, but incoherent.
Some were directing towards amygdala, some were going to frontal part
Blend of emotions and urge of doing something, while recalling.

What is life?
What, is love?

Thanks to beloved cognition and perception, read an article about 3D visual illusions.
Particularly highlighted this: what you see, smell, hear, touch, taste, are just subjective experiences in an objective, reality world.

Yes.
Where is the definite right and wrong?
Everything is but a neural impulse.

Sometimes kinda thinking CBT has its own rationale.
Neural IMPULSE. at least CBT is dealing with the impulsive impulses, transducted and transmitted via neurons.

Why would love and drug inflict the same brain area?
What is this biological implication trying to tell us?
Get in control is the key, just like drugs. They can be good when you are sick, and they can backfire when overdose.
What is the lesson that i am sent here to learn?

零度空间

2012 年，人心惶惶。
刚刚看了篇报导，说，不是世界末日，而是零度空间。
这之间会有很多人死。

我都在干什么了？

2011, 13-12 星期一

十二月十三号，一点十三分，Rapunzel 的童话闭幕了。
谢谢，这童话，很唯美。
谢谢过一切。

站起来

反反复复也许是人生，所以情绪。
也不知道反复了多少次，这一刻总觉得，病好了，那一刻，却是永无止尽地痛。
无病呻吟？
有多少人在死亡边缘挣扎，有多少战争，天灾，在蠢蠢欲动，死亡的悬崖，总是突近突远。
但肯定的是，它是大家的终点。
有多少人，即使快到终点了，还是很努力地冲刺，为生命开出最绚丽的火花。
而今，因为儿女私情，把被盖过头痛定思痛了多久？
而后，疼痛为什么还是一直侵袭？
明确的告示是什么呢？
痛，代表受伤，不痛，代表痊愈。
那介于痛与不痛之间的，是什么？

看了一则故事，
说一个女孩因跟男友分手而自杀，灵魂飘到湖。
美丽的湖女神播了一段很唯美的影片，是那个女孩的未来。
她将来会遇到一个很棒的男生，结婚，有个幸福美满的家，然后两人一起牵手到老。
她看着看着，忍不住释怀地说了一句：我以后竟然会这么幸福！
湖女神却平静地回答：不是未来，是本来。
这幸福本来是你的，但是你选择了另一条路，所以，这本来的幸福，成了泡沫。

我相信，每个人本来都有幸福，而且，跟人生中的危机是好朋友。
如果，危机渡过了，才会看到幸福。
但是不是草草地渡过危机，而是细细品赏，好好观摩这旅程，马虎不得。

所以，现在该做的，乐乐，站起来。
不管多痛，要站起来。
哀悼是对爱着的事，人，最后的思念与执着。
但是过渡的哀悼，就是颓废了。
伤心难免的，接受，疗伤，站起来，好吗？
我们，一同站起来，
向我们本来的幸福挥挥手~

蚀

Found an un-post old post inspired by solar eclipse.

昨天日食。
一向以来，这种可爱的事情都是他说的。

活在过去，只是蚀了现在。

好想，一个人，静静地，想想自己的人生到底是什么。

哭了好久，哭着睡。
然后想，到底是哭什么？

知道吗？过了近乎半年了，才找到理由。
其实是一直逼自己想他，也是一直在逼自己回想到他的一切。
因为，心灵上的联系，在家也找不到。
而后，还得顾上他们的期望，因为达到这种期望，你才是你。

好想就这么一个人静静地，想自己到底是怎么一个人。
而不是，
老是有人跟你说，从小，你就是如此如此，不懂爱，不会关心别人，所以感情，友情是一派胡言。
好像不知不觉间，也变成如此。还是，以前就是如此？